Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
