discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
should my penis look like a turkey
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize