it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
