Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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