You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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