I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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