Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I will pee on everything he values.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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