Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize