Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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