i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
