I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
