They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
