When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
