Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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