Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
