Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
