Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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