I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
