she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
