girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
