I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
