you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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