My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
