pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
