Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im holly from the hills drunk
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
