No, drunk sperm still make babies.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
