At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
