Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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