This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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