he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize