I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
