Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
