so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
