I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
