wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
