a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
