The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
