You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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