im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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