Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
