What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
