this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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