Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
