you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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