come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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