Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
