best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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