..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
