Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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