she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
