she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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