erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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