Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize