I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize