omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
