I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
