Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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