I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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