I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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