That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
one might say we're banned from that church
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize