I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
