we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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