Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
