I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize