so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
