yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
