zippers are such a cool invention
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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